Gospel Reflection For Sunday 13th August

19th Sunday Ordinary Time – by Fr Brian Maher OMI

Gospel Reflection for Sunday August 6th 2023 | 18th Sunday in Ordinary Time

I saw an article recently entitled, “Jesus had no friends.” The name intrigued me simply because it went against almost everything I believe about Jesus as a person. So, of course, I read it. Among other things, it argued that: 

Friends do not betray you, handing you over to people who wish you harm. 
Friends do not deny that they know you, when there is the slightest danger. 
Friends do not fall asleep when they know you are dealing with difficult issues. 
Friends do not desert you in your hour of greatest need. 
Friends say thanks and show gratitude when you do something for them. 
Friends do not leave you as soon as you say something they don’t understand. 
Friends do not ask you to prove yourself to them. 

Interesting, because in the Gospels we find many examples of all these things. Almost all of the disciples of Jesus, not once, but many times are guilty of saying and doing things that a friend would not say or do. Poor Peter, the supposed ‘Rock’ on which Jesus builds his Church, always seems to be singled out and found wanting. It seems sometimes that the ‘rock’ was crumbling! 
Today’s Gospel is a very good example of this. Jesus, we are told, calls Peter a “man of little faith” when he (Peter) demands that Jesus prove he isn’t a ghost, and then begins to sink after getting out of the boat. But… who was it that had faith enough to get out of the boat in the first place? Peter! The only one who had faith enough to do what Jesus asked is harshly criticised when he does it! 

There is, I think, a very human truth at play here, and it is this: When we look back at things we have done or not done in our lives we tend to be very hard on ourselves. We usually judge ourselves far more harshly than others judge us. When a loved one dies, we torment ourselves with ‘regrets’ – things we should have said and done, but didn’t, or things we did say and do, but shouldn’t! So easily our regrets become guilt or shame and weigh on us. When talking we repeat our regrets over and over, often exaggerating them in our own minds. If we are not careful we can convince ourselves that we must carry our burdens of guilt and shame forever. 
If we could only be gentle with ourselves we would realise that the last thing our loved one would want is that we cripple ourselves with regrets. 

Peter and the other close disciples of Jesus had plenty of time, after his death and resurrection, to reflect on all the ‘could have/should have’ moments of their time with him. How Peter must have agonized about how he denied he even knew Jesus, not once but on three separate occasions, after his arrest, and then, how he ran away like a frightened child and hid with the others, leaving his friend to die alone. Later, I am sure these regrets haunted him and in talking about Jesus I feel sure he would have been inclined to understate his own part in Jesus’ work and exaggerate his regrets and failures. 

In today’s Gospel Matthew seems unusually hard on poor Peter. No matter how I imagine the scene I simply cannot imagine Jesus ever saying to Peter, “…Man of little faith. Why did you doubt?”.  Forgiveness, tolerance, and compassion were the pillars of Jesus life. Never, even on the cross, did he deviate from them. Why would he, then, in what is a fairly trivial matter, suddenly almost delight in putting Peter down in front of his peers and friends. It just does not ring true for me. 

I cannot imagine Jesus saying this about Peter, … but I can imagine Peter saying it about himself. I can imagine, when talking about this incident of Jesus coming to save them, his own sense of unworthiness and guilt leading him to ‘hear’ Jesus say it to him. Jesus might have forgiven him, but Peter’s regrets and guilt remain. In his own mind, he is a “man of little faith”. 
Without too much difficulty I can imagine Peter telling the story like this:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

“…We were terrified and he was there on the water….walking on it….and he told us it was him, and not to be afraid. And what did I do? I yelled at him, ‘if it is you, tell me to come to you across the water’. Even though I knew it was him I had to go ask him to prove it! What a fool I was! I’m always doubting him!  And then he said, ‘Come to me….’  …and I did. Without even thinking I jumped into the water and went towards him. Was I walking on the water? I think I was….but as soon as I thought it I was sinking … and like a coward I started screaming, ‘Lord, save me.’ What a coward I was. He should have let be drown! But he didn’t. As always, he lifted me up and brought me back to the boat and all was calm again.  He knew the truth about me. ‘Man of little faith, why did you doubt?’, he said to me, and he was right. I am not the ‘rock’ everyone thinks I am. I doubted him. I let him down. When he said, “man of little faith” he was only telling the truth……only telling the truth!…” 

Tradition tell us that when Peter was condemned to be crucified, he asked that he be crucified upside down. Why? Because we are told he said, “I am not worthy of dying as my Master did.” Even as he was about to die himself; as a martyr; in pain and suffering; dying for the faith…… one part of Peter still sees himself as a ‘man of little faith’. 
Three times after his resurrection Jesus asks Peter, “Do you love me?” and three times the Gospels tell us that Peter assured Jesus that he did love him. “Feed my lambs, feed my sheep…” Jesus told him, not just accepting his word, but reaffirming his choice of Peter as the ‘rock’ and leader of his followers. 
Why did Jesus ask the question three times? Certainly not because Jesus needed to hear it three times – he already knew Peter loved him – but because poor Peter needed to say it three times, once for each time he denied him. 

Let me finish where I started. Is it true than Jesus had no friends?  
To say or even hint that is simply ridiculous. Peter and all of Jesus’ closest followers dedicated their lives to him and his message, and they suffered and died rather than renounce the Gospel. 
Jesus himself said it….

“No one can have greater love than to lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13). 

The thing is that the list of things ‘friends do not do…’ at the start of this reflection are also true. 
It is perfectly true to say that “friends do not betray or deny or let us down when we need them……”. If I look at that list and honestly look at myself and my life, I am forced to admit that I have probably been guilty of all of them at different times and in different ways. 
However, I could also say that those statements do not define my life or my relationships. While I can be guilty of each one of them, I know that there is so much more to my life than any or all of them. 

Accepting that we are human has to be the most difficult thing we ever do. Being human means being weak, and vulnerable and fragile. It also means making mistakes and getting things wrong. Accepting this about ourselves is so difficult. 
Being human means accepting that I am capable of denying, betraying and deserting people I call ‘friends’.  
When Peter denied Jesus and deserted him in his hour of need he was being ‘human’. Can the person we denied or deserted still be a ‘friend’? Of course! To say anything else is to say that friendship or love or trust or anything virtuous is impossible. 

The joy of the Gospel is that we do not need to be perfect in order to be loved and honoured and call people ‘friend’. 
Jesus had friends who denied him and did all those other things to him. Risen from the dead, glorified as God, Jesus was able to assure Peter that those things did not matter. He still called him ‘friend’ and he still loved him. 

Today’s Gospel gives us a glimpse, maybe, into the heart of Peter. He IS a ‘man of faith’; he IS the one chosen by Jesus to lead his followers – his ‘rock’; he IS forgiven for denying Jesus and leaving him to face death alone. Peter knows all of these things but still, within himself, his regrets haunt him. In his own mind he is still a ‘man of little faith – a doubter.’ 
I find this very comforting and reassuring. If someone who was as close to Jesus as Peter was, struggles to accept his full humanness, then I most definitely will struggle to do so. 
Peter can see himself as a ‘man of little faith’ and ‘a doubter’. Peter can also, because of regrets and guilt, imagine that Jesus (God) also sees him like this. 
It is how Peter sees himself; not how Jesus (God) sees him.  
For Jesus (God) Peter is still ‘friend’, ‘trusted’, ‘loved’, ‘forgiven’. 
….AND SO ARE WE!  

Many thanks,
Brian 

If you have any comments, questions or thoughts on this scripture reflection, please feel welcome to email me at b.maher@oblates.ie

Jesus walks on the water