Oblate News

New bonds of friendships take shape in Kokotek

By Kirk Jacob

My name is Kirk Jacob and I would like to share my personal experience of the second Oblate Lay Congress through the medium of short interview-style questions and personal responses to each of them.

How has the experience changed me?

The experience of being at Kokotek, Poland, really transformed my life as I came to the realisation that so many people, young and old, have come to value the Oblate charism and spirituality. I have witnessed people who feel deeply drawn to live it out – in and through their daily lives.

In the lead up to the second Oblate Lay Congress, with the preparation and also during my short stay at Kokotek, I developed and formed new, deep friendships that will no doubt have a lasting impact on my life.

There was a wellspring of goodwill and marvellous welcome and hospitality, with an abundance of food and drink, at all times from our hosts Fr. Patryk Osadnik OMI and his amazing team at Kokotek. The impact of this welcome in a beautiful environment of the Oblate Youth Retreat Centre in Kokotek, a centre named Ninewa also lent itself so well to music, dancing and sharing of our gifts with each other. As someone pointed out: “It felt like we had known this special Oblate family for a long time, and we were just renewing our acquaintances with each other at Kokotek.” I would say this bond is being developed at many levels and many seeds are being sown that no doubt will deeply impact the third Lay Oblate Congress.

I see the value and need to work collaboratively with our European Oblate family. New breakthroughs have happened through all the phases, viz. in the lead-up to the Congress, during the Kokotek experience, and in what is happening in its wake.

Pauline, Mary, Fr. Oliver OMI (our Anglo-Irish Provincial), Gerry and I had many Zoom meetings to plan how we would motivate and inspire our Anglo-Irish Province, both lay and vowed Oblates and then, to bring the lay story of our Province to the European region. These inter-connected and interweaving of relationships at so many levels made the whole experience worthwhile and transformed our lives for the better!

Starting this journey with us in the Anglo-Irish Province were others drawn from Oblate parishes, as well as other Oblate centres of mission. I have been very enriched by the whole experience as it reminded me of the need to constantly build new relationships. Previously, I knew just a few of the group and it challenged me to be inclusive and expand myself into new horizons! These interpersonal relationships were being built up in a short space of time and it really came to fruition as our Province team led the morning prayer on the first day and when we led the liturgy for one of Masses during the days in Kokotek.

How did the stories of others affect me?

I found that the stories of others shared at Kokotek, as well as in the online livestreaming from Rome, moved me deeply. I liken the experience of receiving and sharing of our sacred stories with each other as to being in the upper room in Jerusalem during the descent of the Holy Spirit on those first frightened Apostles. It was a powerful awakening of deep joy coming through the storytelling and our many interactions.

Before the start of the Congress and at the European level we had gathered a number of times via Zoom, where we shared our own stories and those of our Province’s. So, when we arrived at the Congress at Kokotek, I wasn’t surprised to feel an intense electrifying energy being generated through our shared conversations, be it in the large Conference room, or even in the small group workshop which I unexpectedly was asked to facilitate. Equally, I felt this dynamic energy during the meal table conversations and certainly at the social interactions especially when we collectively learnt and participated in the Belgika Polish-Belgium-Ukrainian dance! For those who felt able to engage with the dancing, we really got an intuitive sense of the individual and collective pulse and the diverse vibrant heartbeats of each other, generating joy and unique self-expressions of the Spirit being radiated within our being.

What stories affected me?

During my daily walk beside the lake, I met other Congress delegates who reached out with a smile, and I reciprocated, sometimes even with a deep warm hug or my cheeky sense of humour, which helped lighten the atmosphere. We were all feeling mentally exhausted from the day’s proceedings as we had to take in a lot of information from both the local sharing as well as the intense online livestreaming. Bearing in mind that we had seen each other’s two-minute video presentations prior to coming to Kokotek, I was able to tease Zusanna about her famous cat being a very good “cat-lick”! Then, we took small group photos with each other, hoping that we would build up our connections. What came to me was we are a living reality for the building up of the Kingdom of God here on earth and we were using every moment given to us fruitfully.

I became quite emotional while facilitating the ‘Poverty’ workshop, feeling privileged to listen to the sacred stories of interior loneliness, lack of confidence, including feeling a deep personal poverty at being unable to know a different language as I needed a translator to help for two of our participants. Equally in the large group setting, hearing stories of young and old helping live the Oblate charism on a tea plantation in Kenya brought a tear to my eye – as did the testimonies of young and old at Quebec Marian shrine of Our Lady of the Cape, of which I had visited just a few years ago!

What were my personal ‘kairos’ moments during and since the Congress, those moments when you felt that sense of a need to act? Why? How?

During the Congress, I experienced a special ‘kairos’ moment when I was asked to deliver the ‘gut-reaction’ and a listening response to three key speakers:

• Emmanuel Rossini who was present at the first Congress in Aix-en-Provence, France in 1996;
• Sandy Prather from Canada who represented the lay voice at an Oblate Chapter that got Rule 37a (the voice of the Oblate lay inserted as complimenting vowed Oblate) and;
• Fr. David Lopez OMI, who was appointed to set up the International Lay Commission a few years ago.

Each of the speakers pre-recorded their input for wider on-line global sharing across the 68 countries where the Oblates are present and so I felt they had a somewhat easier option. On the other hand, for those of us chosen to be the ‘gut-reaction’ responders, despite feeling that it was an opportunity given, I nevertheless felt we might have pulled the short straw as we were asked to listen live to the key speakers and immediately give our response to a worldwide audience as to what was heard.

So, no pressure! I found myself shaking as I stood there with my notes delivering my observations on the various important points. Nonetheless, I felt the Holy Spirit used my nerves to generate soulful key comments to help our worldwide Oblate family online!

One other ‘kairos’ moment was when one of the Romanian contingent, Helga-Helene Iana-Ebenhöh, went up on stage to deliver her insights to our larger group forum on the outcomes and aspirations of her Province! Prior to it, I recalled in the Poverty workshop how she was struggling with her self-confidence in her ability to deliver her ideas in English. I noticed a huge breakthrough in her confidence when she went to deliver her message! I was so proud of her inner transformation work overnight! Wow! She was like an eagle flying high with confidence! Awesome! It was nice of her to give credit to my facilitation skills at the small group workshop, and as a result, it helped my own confidence to grow as well.

By offering support in facilitating the European Preparatory team with a simple, possible icebreaker, I found myself being called upon by our French counterpart Olivier as he recently asked me to share some icebreakers for a relatively new group coming together to share church community.

I found myself starting to recognise new Oblate people in the two-minute short videos prepared by our European Oblate family counterparts and in particular, I was moved by the lightness and charism of the living communities of both the ’49 House’ and the Czech community of a vowed and a few lay Oblates which also had a cat in residence!

Was there something profound in this entire experience for me including the lead-up to it?

It was a very humbling experience as an amateur musician rehearsing on the bongos and at times with the guitar along with other musicians namely, Fr. Damian Cimpoesu OMI from Romania, our Co-ordinator on guitar, Federico on Keyboards, Emmanuel Rossini on guitar, Anna Bednar on Bass Drum, Sr. Pauline (Oblatas) on supporting vocals. Together, we shared and learnt pieces of music in different languages like Polish, Italian, French and our own English for the upcoming various morning prayers, eucharistic services and meditations. We taught each other new, touching pieces of music that really helped create a special bond of friendship with each other. Today, as I listen and watch those recorded musical hymns, I feel like those special pieces of music are being relived in
my soul once again. 

Also, a blessing in disguise from the Covid crisis was that it was great having money poured out into social media to record live experiences where we could celebrate new initiatives created from where there was nothing previously in our European and worldwide Oblate family! Each of us responded to the Gospel message to ‘launch out into the deep’ and we certainly left ‘nothing undared for the Gospel’ and God’s Kingdom here on earth (Check out the links at the end of the document). On the day participants started to arrive, I was introduced to a German woman Martina Melles by Pádraigín, one of the delegates from Ireland. I invited Martina to consider preparing one of our Anglo-Irish Oblate morning prayer to be pre-recorded for online transmission later on that week. She duly obliged and I was ecstatic! I learnt from this unexpected experience the value of the Gospel message: ”Ask and you shall receive.” The joy of sharing the experience and working together in producing it bi-lingually through English and German was a first time for me and a very profound experience to cherish for many years to come!

What was it, how do I describe it, how is it changing what I think needs to be done – and how?

I recall in the build-up when we in the Anglo-Irish Province had several zoom meetings and we tried our level best to engage, enthuse, and enable our Oblate lay and vowed partners. Our message sought to have them understand that their voices count and matter, and not just for the second Oblate Lay Congress! Getting the message out wasn’t always easy but we didn’t give up! We sent out flyers as well as creating and sharing an on-line survey. This was followed up with an online “Conversation Evening” event. I recall the survey feedback being powerful and along with those who attended the Conversation Evening, they shared so deeply of themselves and were really ‘hungry’ to be fed more of the Oblate charism.

What I think needs to be done is to look at new models of community living as Oblate people since I see this as a platform from which the third Oblate Lay Congress will take its cue. We certainly need to look at more circular models of shared servant leadership and challenge interior and exterior clericalism which is going to be a huge stumbling block to this development. Pastoral care of the most vulnerable in our societies in a challenging cost of living crisis will be crucial for lay people to step up. It will be critically important that vowed Oblates understand the key role that they can play in paving the way. Nothing in this journey should allow them to feel their role is being threatened or undermined. It’s a case of being more generative rather than stagnating and keeping the status quo at all costs. Complementarity will need to be felt in reality, and synodality of walking beside each other and accompanying each other will need to be made real if there is going to be a long-term impact on the Oblate charism taking deep roots.

Why would a reader want to follow my path?

Now unbeknown to me, my brother-in-law Rex Daniels along with my older sister Maria and many others were following our live streaming via Facebook. I got a phone call from him after the event to ask if I would be willing to facilitate something similar of the Kokotek experience back in Chennai, India or even to use that template to help the wider Christian Lay family across India! OMG! Huge expectations were created in one person’s heart and mind. I certainly do not know how many more people are out there with whom conversations are needed to know that they are equally looking for a template to follow and use in their spiritual development.

What is in it for them?

The value of sharing our rich Oblate spirituality with new faces of Oblate people can be taken for granted at our peril! The Kingdom of God is urgent and if we invite new faces, we get to share the joy we have received. After all, it is like St. Eugene receiving the unconditional love of Christ our crucified Saviour on that Good Friday in 1807. Had Eugene kept that grace to himself then, there would certainly be no Oblates today let alone any new Oblate people emerging! As the late Pope St. John Paul II reminded us that: “every charism is a gift to the Church,” in other words, it is not meant for the particular religious Order to hold on to it and hoard it at all costs! That approach would certainly lead to its inevitable demise which has happened to many religious Orders already.

Where is the ‘discovery’ opportunity for someone?

In the course of our face to face and on-line group sharings, I discovered that some new research was done by a team of lay Italians on Eugene De Mazenod’s time in Palermo, Italy.

What they have done is offer a European, or wider world group, opportunities to experience and taste Eugene’s time when he was challenged in his life, and he followed his worldly ways for aristocratic ‘titles’ which resulted in him experiencing loneliness. Having been to Aix and Marseille, I have discovered a new part of the jigsaw of St. Eugene’s life, so far by video only, namely in Palermo.

Also, from one of the online sharings from South America, I enjoyed the role play between a vowed and lay Oblate which demonstrated complementarity of roles instead of one being superior or inferior to the other.

Thank You!

I would like to thank everyone who helped play a significant part in the forming of new bonds of soul filled friendships which finally took shape at Kokotek, Poland. This was the European hub for our second Oblate Lay Congress. Thank you to the reader for taking the time to read and reflect on my experience of the Congress and I sincerely hope that it has touched a chord in your spiritual life.

Kirk Jacob
London, August 2022
Member of the Anglo-Irish Oblate Partners in Mission team

Below are three links to YouTube videos shared by the Polish province.

Day 1 >

Day 2 >

Day 3 >

Tags: Kokotek, OLAC2022, Poland